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It started as a gathering of old mates while I was recently in Sydney saying my good-byes before heading OS. It ended up being a full-blown mini race in the back of Wonka’s yard. Big boys riding little toys. More laughs, cheers, abuse, fun and take-outs than thought possible in one day. There was myself, Goba, Bushwacker – who got the ball rolling, Wonka – who supplied his backyard, Goodtimes – who like always brought his big smile and an esky full of beers, D-Train – who turned up with his race-face on, a little twisted but there all the same, the Jones bro’s Bud & Ed – never one’s to miss out on any action, also sporting an esky full of cold beer, Shagga – the youngest of the crew with his mini and a kicker to make things a little crazier, Brownie – an all-round top bloke and one of the fastest mini riders in Oz, well a lot faster than most of us, and last but not least Pig and Goat – Bushwhackers’ dog and Wonka’s Goat, who fell in love at first site, but that’s another story. Read on for a rundown with pics on how the day unfolded… Capt: Wonka and Brownie gettin into it while the track was fresh and beggin to be riden.
Capt: Bushwacker rolled up with the trickest mini and had the thing in peices tuning it up before the first moto got underway. 
Capt: Wonka's backyard was looking pretty plain before we got stuck into it with the shovels and mattock's. 
Capt: One of Shagga's moments with the shovel. No machinery used on this track! 
Capt: Bushwacker was the first to rail one of the sweetest hand-made berms on the course. 
Capt: He went in a bit too hard come race day warm-up though as the pic shows just before he hit the dirt. 
Capt: It was love at first sight for Pig and Goat. 
Capt: But Goat quickly showed Pig who was boss. 
Capt: Goodtimes doin some track-prep before the first moto. 
Capt: Wonka put Goat to work by making him a personal mascot. Pig was even more impressed with the stylish outfit. 
Capt: It was a bit hot for Goat running full sleeves so Wonks chopped them down.
Capt: Browny was straight into the workshop on arrival making last minute mods to his Fitty. 
Capt: Goat was just to attractive for Pig. He couldn't hold back his affection and spent his whole day trying to mount old Goat. 
Capt: D-Train and his moto-mad son Will-Man gettin a taste for many good times to come. 
Capt: Margo, D-Trains lovely wife, also tried her hand at riding a mini. 
Capt: First moto of the day was one we'd all been waiting for and it didn't let down in the action department. There was personal pride and honour at stake. You'd think it was the main event at Anaheim - look at the concentration and focus on these old buggers! 
Capt: Wonks was all style and secured himself a spot in the semi with ease. 
Capt: Goodtimes struggled early in the peace but sticking with his stand-up style he came in with the goods come the Fastest Hot-Lap at the end of the day. 
Capt: Shagga was too tough to run a helmet and lucky for him he kept it from hitting the ground all day. 
Capt: Bud put in a few hours of track maintenance - one-handed mind you as the other one he used as a beer holder. 
Capt: Goba, Wonka and Brownie all-smiles. 
Capt: Bushwacker manicuring the first turn berm, and what a work of art is was. 
Capt: Goba havin a good run on Bushwacker's weapon. 
Capt: Bushwacker leads D-Train who's making use of his long legs to get some more top end from the under-powered CRF 88 kitted mini, while Wonks gets ready for an outside manouvre through upcoming the first turn. 
Capt: D-Train puttin those long legs to good use again. 
Capt: Wonks was pretty stoked with the transformation of his backyard. 
Capt: First turn of the final was pretty intense between finalists Wonks, Shagga, D-Train and Goba. 
Capt: Goba was up to second when he got shunted off the track by the do-or-die D-Train. 
Capt: Every rider had a brief turn at the front but come the last lap of 15 Wonka had the goods for the checka flag, proudly waved by our good man Ed. 
Capt: Caught up in the excitement of the epic final Goba somehow claimed third place behind D-Train in second and Wonka, but after watching the video replay it was decided he was a lap down and therefore relegated back to fourth.
Capt: This all happened way after the podium speeches and glory of it all. Shagga did end up getting his trophy back the following Thursday night at the local pub, but he missed out on the glory on the day, which is something a little hard to give back. Sorry Shags!! Ha Ha!! Hope this makes you feel better mate. 
As promised here starts the Wonka Fitycross report by "00 Bushwacker'' THE WONKA FROM FITY RIVER
Well there was movement at the Wonka pad for the word had passed around that a few of the old favourites would be in town. It was the Wonka pad that was the port of call, with word on the street that a Fitycross show-down would sort out all the tuff talk between us. The lads gathered and gave Wonka's fity track a bit of a revamp with anything that would create a kicker or berm. Pallets, bricks, conveyer belt mats and basically anything was thrown down to create a ghetto jam format. The yard was converted into a fity boxing ring that was sure looking like a prime piece of real estate, with banners and bunting polishing it off to give it that real race feel. The nylex was pointed in the right direction by track water extrordinar ''BUDDHA'' Jones, giving the
final bow tie to a loamy course. It was time to draw the heats as the trophies to the WONKACROSS were perched proudly next to the finish line.
The heat races were dog eat dog with the D-train chewing on the bone with pit-bull-like tactics, growling his way into the main. Browny was swapping paint with DM all through a heat race when he was called up for a tour of duty and was forced to forfeit the place in the main, having to leave the lads just as things started to cook. Shagga rode in the shadows with cracker holeshots, slipping his way into any gap that opened up with a consistent result and setting himself up for a main meal. Goba rode midpack, but it was easily noted that he was saving himself for the main, smart play. Wonks on the other hand was out to show that ya ain't gunna get just one elbow under the jaw in the first turn but a big bloody battle for the lead, he kept the wheels turning into the main. Another old-skool favourite Eddy Jones, had elbows up and a pointed toe to rail berms and wrestle with the best, but not enough to get into the real deal. Still great to see that he's still got it. But it was Gary'' GOODTIMES'' Blizzard that rode well under the legal limit of 0.5 (an alcohol reading of fatal) crushing cans and smashing lap records to keep his drink without spilling a drop. Myself had the heat to qualify into the main well under wraps, until showing off got the better of me, causing my whole plan to go down the drain, finishing my racing for the day (faarkin dirty I was too).
Before the last race of the day there was an intermission and some spectacular stunt riding and style coaching by the likes of future fity nats title taker Will-Mann and another Mann – the " OLD" one, Dave. So the main meal that was served up consisted of a Wonka burger, a Shagga salad, D-train pasta and a Goba kebab. This was to be the final sitting at the start gate. Eddy took the reigns of the starter position and the boys evenly drew the gates. The atmosphere was far from electric, as the tension was building all day and it was a matter of pub pride on the line. With four fity’s red-lining the call was made and the elastic band was set free, firing D-train outta the gates and straight across the path of Wonka and Goba (the same dirty tactics that got him to the main). Thus leaving Shagga to rail around the outside into turn one and first place, and Wonka to barge the D-train outta the way for 2nd. The lads battled for every inch of dirt and the 20 laps sure did sort shit out. Five or so laps into it and Wonka gets spat over the bars on a double and was looking like a Helipad on the ground. The very next corner Shagga stalls it leaving the race wide open for D-train to come from third into the lead. Goba made hast and held it on to slip in behind D, and it was all going on at the Wonkacross.
The battle continued with every rider having his own slice of the lead. Finally it was Wonka who shut it down taking the win and the first Wonka Fitycross title, D-Train 2nd, Shagga 3rd, and Goba, who was running up there until he was delt another low blow by D, who t-boned him up against the car in old Ford corner. The crowd of five exploded in cans of beer as they met the riders in the pits for handshakes and bitch-slaps all-round. And yes it was official, the Wonkacross was won by the biggest local, and a few raced under the influence, but no one walked away with out larfing there guts out.
Well all good things must come to an end, which is a load of crap if ya at the Wonkacross. Next up was the fastest farker of one hot lap time trials, and didn't this bring the Gall out in all of us. Shagga fired out a fast lap with Wonka narrowly behind, but it was Goodtimes Blizzard that looked the fastest and punched out a blistering lap, but not quite enough to bump Shagga off. So he took home two trophies and a Luna Park smile. The sun was dropping and the bottom of the eski was visible so the call was made to go our separate ways. It was farkin funny shit all day and to have that crew all running a muck again was killer.
The WONKACROSS administration would like to thank our sponsors who proudly supported this fity movement: The ''Wonka real estate'' – beautiful one day farkt the next. The Chinese laundry for importing the fine machinery. The drive through bottle shop at Appin. The Next day counseling service, Gobadirt.com, City Coast motorcycles, and the book "HOW TO HOSE YA MATES ON A FITY" BY I WON NUTTINWAKA.
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